I reached out to my guest today,
, after years of quietly following her work as a writer, filmmaker, and blogger. We met many moons ago through my dear friend Melissa Unger (who some of you might remember from Season 2) and I’ve been tracking Mai’s creative evolution ever since. Melissa also happens to be the one who introduced Mai to her now-husband Jerry Hyde, a British psychotherapist known for his work with men’s groups. I mention that because, like everything with Mai, it’s all connected. The personal is never just personal—it’s part of the larger weave.
Four generations of women: Mai with her daughter, mother and grandmother in a scene from her film, Les Rivières
Mai is Franco-Vietnamese, born and raised in Paris to Vietnamese immigrant parents. She grew up steeped in expectations: be hardworking, be good, be pleasant, be excellent. And she delivered. She studied at the prestigious business school ESSEC, carved out a rare niche as a color designer in the beauty industry, and built a successful career. But somewhere along the way, a metaphysical breakthrough pushed her toward deeper questions. That shift led her from color design to blogging, from blogging to documentary filmmaking, and into a lifelong inquiry around self, love, and what it means to live in an ever-evolving landscape of inner and outer truths.
I saw her film Les Rivières in the cinema just before the pandemic hit. It was one of the last public events I attended pre-lockdown, and it landed hard. The way she told the story of the women in her family—the secrets passed down, the silences they carried, the complexity of generational love—was fearless and exquisite. Not a dry eye in the theatre. Since then, her work has continued to evolve. She released Make Me a Man, a collaboration with her husband Jerry that takes viewers inside men’s therapy groups to explore the inner landscape of men’s emotional worlds. She’s also launched Tell Me Who You Are, a top-rated philosophy newsletter on Substack with videos and posts that delve into uncomfortable truths around self, love, and relationships. And she’s currently working on a new film that goes deep inside a therapy circle over twelve days, called May Day.
Mai and her husband Jerry recording one of their intimate conversations.
A few weeks before we recorded this episode, we met for coffee and got deep fast. We talked about l’intime—a concept from the French philosopher François Jullien, who defines intimacy as “the inside of the inside.” For Mai, this is more compelling than identity. Because identity, in its rigid form, holds too tightly to the past. Intimacy, on the other hand, moves. It expands. It allows. It asks us to tell the truth, moment by moment, even as that truth changes shape.
photo of Mai by Steve Howse
In her middle years, Mai has stopped trying to hold everything together. She’s less interested in being good and more interested in being honest. And that’s where her creativity lives now. Not in polished outcomes, but in the language of emotional exploration. And the work that’s coming from that place is alive with courage, sensuality, and lots of uncomfortably long pauses ;)
In this episode, we talk about:
• Why l’intime is more expansive than identity
• How telling someone who you are is the ultimate act of love
• The safety that lives inside emotional truth, even when it’s uncomfortable
• How midlife can be a portal for deeper creativity and deeper freedom
• Why courage isn’t bravado—it’s speaking from the heart
Mai’s work has actually made me feel just that much braver. After our conversation, literally hours later, I was able to bring some things up that had been weighing on me for a while and felt so happy that I did. So, if you’ve ever felt like the version of you you were taught to be is no longer big enough for who you’re becoming, this one’s for you!
And remember if you want to take this work deeper, you can reach out to me for a discovery call.
xxx
Zeva
PS. As always, you can listen to the episode on the above browser or on anyone of your preferred podcast players, like Apple, Deezer or Spotify.
PPP. Are you in Paris this June? I’ve got a couple of spots open in my Creative Camp series.
Share this post